Thursday, March 29, 2012

a FiRsT

I debated whether or not I should even share this experience, but then I said "what the heck." This was a first for me and a huge step forward.
I opened up a card from one of my beautiful sisters (I have 4 beautiful sisters :) and it was an announcement that she was pregnant (yay!). I paused for a moment and for the first time in a long time I didn't feel sad. I am always genuinely excited for people who announce they're pregnant but there has always been a moment of envy and feeling sad for myself. For the first time though, I didn't feel sad. All I felt was pure excitement for my sister and pure happiness for myself.
Would I love to experience pregnancy? Of course. Honestly though, I wouldn't have it any other way with my family. I am so thrilled to adopt. This has been one amazing journey for me and Nic - I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can't help but feel so happy for myself (sorry that sounded selfish). At the end, we will have one amazing story to share with our kids. Each one will be so individual and unique to them.
I love how the Lord has taken 2 wrongs (Nic's infertility and mine) and made a right out of it. I know the Lord has seen our flawed mortal bodies and made it so we are joined with the spirits that are supposed to be in the Phair family. :)

6 comments:

Dyan said...

You have been blessed with a great attitude!

Emily said...

That is such a sweet thought. Thanks for sharing. I am SO excited for you guys and hope you keep us in the loop! xoxo

Summer said...

You and Nic have handled this soooo incredibly well, and I love that you've chosen to find the positive and used it to strengthen your marriage. Can't wait for little baby Phair to join the family! :)

KP said...

i love that! and i love that you feel so happy and thrilled and excited to adopt!!! i am excited for you guys, yay! the children who come into your family will truly be blessed!! xoxo.

Katie said...

That is a BIG deal. I know I felt sad for a long time about all the pregnant women around me when I had a miscarriage, so good for you! I can't wait to see what sweet baby comes into your family!

jacque said...

What a great perspective!