Thursday, March 29, 2012

a FiRsT

I debated whether or not I should even share this experience, but then I said "what the heck." This was a first for me and a huge step forward.
I opened up a card from one of my beautiful sisters (I have 4 beautiful sisters :) and it was an announcement that she was pregnant (yay!). I paused for a moment and for the first time in a long time I didn't feel sad. I am always genuinely excited for people who announce they're pregnant but there has always been a moment of envy and feeling sad for myself. For the first time though, I didn't feel sad. All I felt was pure excitement for my sister and pure happiness for myself.
Would I love to experience pregnancy? Of course. Honestly though, I wouldn't have it any other way with my family. I am so thrilled to adopt. This has been one amazing journey for me and Nic - I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can't help but feel so happy for myself (sorry that sounded selfish). At the end, we will have one amazing story to share with our kids. Each one will be so individual and unique to them.
I love how the Lord has taken 2 wrongs (Nic's infertility and mine) and made a right out of it. I know the Lord has seen our flawed mortal bodies and made it so we are joined with the spirits that are supposed to be in the Phair family. :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

PhAsE 3

I don't remember where I left you all off in our adoption process.
Our home visit was on March 9.
Samantha (name has been changed) is an extremely sweet lady in our stake who has also adopted. She brought by a plate of goodies and a card knowing we had our home visit that day. (I will get back to Samantha)
Jodie, our case worker, stopped by our house. We gave her a tour of the house and then she went over the DHS (Department of Human Services) checklist. We passed in everything...except one: the evacuation plan. Because we want to adopt a baby, we didn't feel it necessary to post one. None the less, we made one up after Jodie left and it is currently hanging on our fridge.

With the home visit done, we move on to Phase 3: Our Profile.
In this phase we also fill out our preferences.
Gender: either.
Race: any.
Age: 3 months or younger.
Would you be willing to accept a sibling set: yes (I wanted to say heck yes I will take twins!)
Age of sibling set: 3 months or younger.
There are many other preferences we had to fill out but those are the basics.
The profile is an opportunity for the birth mom to get to know us better, see pictures of us, etc.
Once the profile is complete the waiting game begins.
I can not tell you how excited I am. Of course I can...I AM SO DANG EXCITED TO ADOPT! :)

Back to Samantha. What can I say about Samantha? I admire this woman oh so much. I don't think she'll ever know how grateful I am for her.
It is so comforting knowing that she knows EXACTLY how I feel because she herself has gone through it.
She recently attended my ward's Relief Society activity and I just looked at her and got teary-eyed. (Don't think I'm weird) It's because I'm so comforted knowing that she knows the pain of infertility. She gives me hope because she has adopted.
You can be surrounded by so many people who love and support you, and yet, feel so alone. Until you experience infertility, you will not understand it.
I look at Samantha and feel uplifted. I feel strength and hope.
Thank you Samantha.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

BaBy GeAr

All clean and ready for use

Our home visit is scheduled for Friday, March 9.
One baby step closer.
We purchased a car seat and stroller.
All we need is a baby to fill it.