Tuesday, November 27, 2012

AdOpTiOn StOrY: pArT 3

Monday, November 5. I couldn't tell you what we even talked about on our drive to Bend. All I know is that it went by FAST. It was all a blur. I think we were both in shock at what was really happening. 
 When we got to Bend, we wanted to get Kelbi some flowers. What girl doesn't love getting flowers? We had also gotten her a card with my favorite brand of bag. (Side note: On our adoption profile, I mentioned that I love to collect bags. My favorite brand is Red by Mark Ecko if you were wondering.) What do you get a birthmom who is making such a huge, priceless sacrifice? Everything felt so trivial. These are the flowers we ended up getting her:
 We made it to the family birthing center (FBC) at St Charles Medical Center
When we were let in to the FBC, we were taken to "our room." Nic and I had looked at hotels the night before, but the wonderful staff at the hospital let us stay down the hall from Kelbi in room 167. How sweet are they?! They already had the room set up for us: 2 beds with a bathroom. We definitely were not expecting to stay at the hospital.
 We waited in our room before going to Kelbi's room. We met with the hospital social worker (and I wish I could remember her name). She was so great to work with. She let us know how Kelbi and her family were doing. We talked about what was going to happen that night - it was all on Kelbi's terms and what she was comfortable with. We didn't want to barge in - we wanted to give her her space.

We were then brought to Kelbi's room, 151. Her sister, best friend, parents and Dylan were there. We immediately went to Kelbi - it was about her, not baby boy. We asked how she was doing and how everything was going. She told us that we could go meet baby boy. He was laying peacefully in his little plastic hospital bassinet. I laid eyes on him and his eyes opened - he looked at me. Now I know newborn babies can't see a darn thing, but I truly felt that he knew I was there. It was a very sweet moment between me and baby boy. Nic and I both looked at him and knew he was an Everett. We held him and loved on him while staying in Kelbi's room. Sweet Kelbi gave us scrapbooking paper and stickers for baby boy, a blanket she made for him and a dang cute outfit. She is so thoughtful. We stayed there for a few hours before heading out to grab some dinner.

Before we said our goodbyes to Dylan after dinner, we discussed with Kelbi and Dylan about a name. Now mind you, they liked Nolan and Kade - they did not know about the name Everett. They had also combined their middle names to form Jay (family name on Allison's side of the family). We discussed with them our new name: Everett Jay. They loved it and knew it fit him too. We also said that we liked the nickname of Rev, which they also loved. :) Baby boy is now named: Everett Jay Phair. Dylan had to go back to school, so we said our goodbyes to him - it was bittersweet.
Kelbi made the decision to sign papers this night. Her case manager, Jodi, and our case manager, Joseph, made the trip to Bend. Kelbi signed papers and then we went over our paperwork separately with Joseph in our room. After papers were signed we spent more time in Kelbi's room with more of Kelbi's friends. What a great support system she has. It made us so happy to see how many people loved her and what great people they are. They were all so sweet to us.

After deciding we were all ready to go to bed, Everett made his way to our room. It was Kelbi's decision if she wanted him to spend the night with us or him - we were good either way. We made our way to our room to spend our first night with Everett. 
The night went well. He slept and ate well. I don't think either of us really got any sleep - who can sleep on a hospital bed and cot? The answer is no one. I speak for myself when I say that I still couldn't believe what was really happening. In a mere month, we had become parents. What?!

Tuesday, November 6. Good morning! We don't look too awful for having spent our first night as parents.
 We ordered breakfast from the cafeteria and surprise, surprise they had gluten free bread for toast! That made this girl real happy!
 Everett spent the morning with his birthmom. We headed to Kelbi's room around 10 to finish up signing the paperwork. Everything was signed, sealed...notarized, and done. Everett continued to spend time with Kelbi while Nic and I spent time in our room with Jodi and Joseph. We were notified that Kelbi and Everett would be discharged today. Yay! We got to watch this "awesome" video. Let's just say that Nic, Jodi, Joseph and I shared a few good laughs. We did learn some stuff...some.
 Nic and Joseph trying to work on getting the carseat ready 
 Jodi, Joseph, me and Nic before Jodi and Joseph headed out
 After finishing up discharge paperwork, we got the little man ready to go
 Love his froggie going home outfit. Here is the story of why this was the PERFECT going home outfit. The Relief Society in the Eugene area makes blankets for birthmoms and adoptive couples: frogs or trains. Whatever the birthmom chooses, the adoptive couple gets a matching one. Kelbi chose frogs. She gets a froggie blanket and Everett gets one too. :) Do you see why this outfit is PERFECT? :)
 This is the board in Kelbi's room of Everett's birth stats
 We are all ready to go home. Kelbi, Everett and me

 Kelbi's parents, Kelbi, Everett, me and Nic
Let's just say I bawled the moment I entered Kelbi's room as we were leaving. She wanted us all to walk out together. What an amazing experience I will NEVER forget. I could not stop crying. I could not say thank you enough. I have such a love and appreciation for this amazing young woman. Kelbi had given us an amazing gift. She did something for us that my body won't do. She is seriously wonderful. No words can describe her. She has made a sacrifice for me and Nic. Her family has made a sacrifice for us.  They will always hold a special place in my heart and Everett's. 
Mister Rev slept the whole drive home. Did not make one peep. We knew that he would be ready to eat when we got home, so we immediately texted my mom so she could feed him. Grandma had to get her hands on him - he is scrumptious. My wonderful sister, Dani, decorated my side of the garage to welcome home baby boy.

 Shortly after my mom came over, Dani also visited with Beckett. Beckett is almost exactly 2 months older than Everett. Look at the size difference! Little burrito cousins. I fear these two are going to be little trouble makers. :)
Everett has blessed so many lives and continues to bless people. I am amazed at how many people have been "rooting" for us. Our gratitude could never be sufficiently expressed to everyone. So many have helped us adjust to parenthood. We love Everett's adoption story. It is so unique to him and special. It's his and only his. He has an amazing birthmom and birthdad. We are always reminding him of Kelbi and Dylan and the many other people that love him. We love them. Without them, we wouldn't have our Everett or been on this journey.


Savannah said...

What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing! We are over the moon for you guys! Crazy small world... Joseph is in our ward! I don't know him very well, but I love his wife! Happy he was there for you! I hope we get to meet Everett soon!

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Unknown said...

I really enjoyed reading your story, Ally. It's truly amazing what Kelbi was able to do, and I wish I could have you come talk to my Korean students about the joys of adopting. I have some friends here that wish they could have a baby but because of culture they won't adopt, and it's so sad for the childless adults and the parentless kids. Everyone looses! I'm glad that everyone won in your story--even the birthmom!

Kirsten Avila

The Duckworth Family said...

Loved reading this Ali! I'm so super happy for you guys. Sorry it didn't work out for me to do pictures but looks like you found someone fantastic! You have an amazing family, and looks like Everett has an amazing Birthfamily. Kelbi sounds like an amazing young girl. Such emotions that she will have to face in her life, but also gratitude for the amazing people that get to raise her son. Love ya!

Lauren Conley said...

I love you all. I can't wait for some quality time with everyone in the new year (yes - I am coming; brace yourselves)!

I wish I could tell you what this story has done for me. Maybe I'll wait, though. We can have a nice spiritual chat like we used to. :)

Miss you!!