Monday, November 5. I couldn't tell you what we even talked about on our drive to Bend. All I know is that it went by FAST. It was all a blur. I think we were both in shock at what was really happening.
When we got to Bend, we wanted to get Kelbi some flowers. What girl doesn't love getting flowers? We had also gotten her a card with my favorite brand of bag. (Side note: On our adoption profile, I mentioned that I love to collect bags. My favorite brand is Red by Mark Ecko if you were wondering.) What do you get a birthmom who is making such a huge, priceless sacrifice? Everything felt so trivial. These are the flowers we ended up getting her:
We made it to the family birthing center (FBC) at St Charles Medical Center
When we were let in to the FBC, we were taken to "our room." Nic and I had looked at hotels the night before, but the wonderful staff at the hospital let us stay down the hall from Kelbi in room 167. How sweet are they?! They already had the room set up for us: 2 beds with a bathroom. We definitely were not expecting to stay at the hospital.
We waited in our room before going to Kelbi's room. We met with the hospital social worker (and I wish I could remember her name). She was so great to work with. She let us know how Kelbi and her family were doing. We talked about what was going to happen that night - it was all on Kelbi's terms and what she was comfortable with. We didn't want to barge in - we wanted to give her her space.
We were then brought to Kelbi's room, 151. Her sister, best friend, parents and Dylan were there. We immediately went to Kelbi - it was about her, not baby boy. We asked how she was doing and how everything was going. She told us that we could go meet baby boy. He was laying peacefully in his little plastic hospital bassinet. I laid eyes on him and his eyes opened - he looked at me. Now I know newborn babies can't see a darn thing, but I truly felt that he knew I was there. It was a very sweet moment between me and baby boy. Nic and I both looked at him and knew he was an Everett. We held him and loved on him while staying in Kelbi's room. Sweet Kelbi gave us scrapbooking paper and stickers for baby boy, a blanket she made for him and a dang cute outfit. She is so thoughtful. We stayed there for a few hours before heading out to grab some dinner.
Before we said our goodbyes to Dylan after dinner, we discussed with Kelbi and Dylan about a name. Now mind you, they liked Nolan and Kade - they did not know about the name Everett. They had also combined their middle names to form Jay (family name on Allison's side of the family). We discussed with them our new name: Everett Jay. They loved it and knew it fit him too. We also said that we liked the nickname of Rev, which they also loved. :) Baby boy is now named: Everett Jay Phair. Dylan had to go back to school, so we said our goodbyes to him - it was bittersweet.
Kelbi made the decision to sign papers this night. Her case manager, Jodi, and our case manager, Joseph, made the trip to Bend. Kelbi signed papers and then we went over our paperwork separately with Joseph in our room. After papers were signed we spent more time in Kelbi's room with more of Kelbi's friends. What a great support system she has. It made us so happy to see how many people loved her and what great people they are. They were all so sweet to us.
After deciding we were all ready to go to bed, Everett made his way to our room. It was Kelbi's decision if she wanted him to spend the night with us or him - we were good either way. We made our way to our room to spend our first night with Everett.
The night went well. He slept and ate well. I don't think either of us really got any sleep - who can sleep on a hospital bed and cot? The answer is no one. I speak for myself when I say that I still couldn't believe what was really happening. In a mere month, we had become parents. What?!
Tuesday, November 6. Good morning! We don't look too awful for having spent our first night as parents.
We ordered breakfast from the cafeteria and surprise, surprise they had gluten free bread for toast! That made this girl real happy!
Everett spent the morning with his birthmom. We headed to Kelbi's room around 10 to finish up signing the paperwork. Everything was signed, sealed...notarized, and done. Everett continued to spend time with Kelbi while Nic and I spent time in our room with Jodi and Joseph. We were notified that Kelbi and Everett would be discharged today. Yay! We got to watch this "awesome" video. Let's just say that Nic, Jodi, Joseph and I shared a few good laughs. We did learn some stuff...some.
Nic and Joseph trying to work on getting the carseat ready
Jodi, Joseph, me and Nic before Jodi and Joseph headed out
After finishing up discharge paperwork, we got the little man ready to go
Love his froggie going home outfit. Here is the story of why this was the PERFECT going home outfit. The Relief Society in the Eugene area makes blankets for birthmoms and adoptive couples: frogs or trains. Whatever the birthmom chooses, the adoptive couple gets a matching one. Kelbi chose frogs. She gets a froggie blanket and Everett gets one too. :) Do you see why this outfit is PERFECT? :)
This is the board in Kelbi's room of Everett's birth stats
We are all ready to go home. Kelbi, Everett and me
Kelbi's parents, Kelbi, Everett, me and Nic
Let's just say I bawled the moment I entered Kelbi's room as we were leaving. She wanted us all to walk out together. What an amazing experience I will NEVER forget. I could not stop crying. I could not say thank you enough. I have such a love and appreciation for this amazing young woman. Kelbi had given us an amazing gift. She did something for us that my body won't do. She is seriously wonderful. No words can describe her. She has made a sacrifice for me and Nic. Her family has made a sacrifice for us. They will always hold a special place in my heart and Everett's.
Mister Rev slept the whole drive home. Did not make one peep. We knew that he would be ready to eat when we got home, so we immediately texted my mom so she could feed him. Grandma had to get her hands on him - he is scrumptious. My wonderful sister, Dani, decorated my side of the garage to welcome home baby boy.
Shortly after my mom came over, Dani also visited with Beckett. Beckett is almost exactly 2 months older than Everett. Look at the size difference! Little burrito cousins. I fear these two are going to be little trouble makers. :)
Everett has blessed so many lives and continues to bless people. I am amazed at how many people have been "rooting" for us. Our gratitude could never be sufficiently expressed to everyone. So many have helped us adjust to parenthood. We love Everett's adoption story. It is so unique to him and special. It's his and only his. He has an amazing birthmom and birthdad. We are always reminding him of Kelbi and Dylan and the many other people that love him. We love them. Without them, we wouldn't have our Everett or been on this journey.
*I lied. This story is going to be split up into more then 2 parts. You have to know all of the details to get the full effect of our story. It's a pretty amazing adoption story.*
November 15 is not very far away and we had a lot to do still. How long do you think it took my mom to finish the crib bedding? Not even 3 days! Can you tell she was a little excited for this little guy? Let the planning begin! We kept in contact with Kelbi via e-mail working out the details of contact. She is so amazing to work with and we learned quickly just how blessed we are to have her in our lives.
Setting up the crib
Harrison was trying to "help"
All set up!
Vinyl quote above the glider chair
Another quote above the crib
Amazing bedding by my mother. So talented!
There is also a picture board and a pocket organizer that aren't hung yet.
Let the countdown begin!
Thursday, November 1 Kelbi had a doctor's appointment. She texted me and was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Doctor told her that baby is healthy and everything looks great. With this news we really didn't know if she would deliver early or not. She could be at this stage for who knows how long.
Friday, November 2 I started to panic about the boy names we picked out because what if he doesn't look like any of our names (Myron, Nolan or Kade). I have always like the name Everett and it popped into my head again. I presented the name to Nic and he was like "eh."
Sunday, November 4 Nic and I headed to my parent's house for dinner. Nic said "Everett Jay" out loud and he loved it. Everett is now in the running. I headed to bed around 10:20 that night. I was saying my evening prayers and praying for Kelbi - I expressed how grateful I am for her and her family. I got a text message. Who the heck is texting me so late at night?
Kelbi 10:20 PM: I'm checked into the hospital at 5cm dilated.
(I ran out of my room and told Nic the news - we're having a baby!)
Me 10:21 PM: When would you be comfortable with us coming to the hospital? Kelbi 10:25 PM: Probably tomorrow sometime so u can try to rest tonight haha and that way ur not just sitting around waiting.
(We will most definitely not be sleeping. I of course called my mother and informed her of the news...WE'RE HAVING A BABY!)
Me 10:28 PM: How exciting! We won't be getting too much sleep. :) keep us posted when you can throughout the night. My phone will be with me. Kelbi 10:30 PM: Okay :) Me 10:31 PM: Our thoughts and prayers are with you. :) Kelbi 10:33 PM: Thanks!
Kelbi 11:41 PM: Kelbi just got some meds to ease the pain. She is doing really well. Me 11:42 PM: Good luck to her and thank you!
Kelbi 2:50 AM: You're beautiful baby boy just entered the world. Me 2:51 AM: Oh my gosh! Yay! Details? Kelbi 2:53 AM: We'll let you know when we know. They're cleaning him up. Haven't weighed or measured him yet. Me 2:54 AM: How are you doing Kelbi? Kelbi 3:01 AM: 19.5 inches Kelbi 3:06 AM: He's six pounds ten ounces. This is Kelbi's sisters, but she's good. They're cleaning her up, they just decided to take her into surgery because she has a big tear that he can't get to very well.
(She sent us a picture of baby boy. As soon as Nic and I saw the picture we were deciding between Nolan and Everett.) Kelbi 3:06 AM: Kelbi says he needs a name Me 3:11 AM: He's absolutely beautiful. We really hope everything is ok with Kelbi. We want to talk about names when we meet him. We have a few picked out but we are not sure until we see him face to face. Kelbi 3:13 AM: Makes sense Me 3:16 AM: We will be leaving town by about 10:30. Kelbi 3:17 AM: Ok travel safely.
Monday, November 5 is a day that changed our lives forever. This was our son's birthday. Nic headed to work for some meetings and I began to panic. haha I called my work and let them know my maternity leave would begin now. My mom and I headed to Fred Meyer to finish up some last minute shopping. Thank goodness I had already packed the diaper bag. His going home outfit was picked out. I seriously could not believe what was happening. Nic and I get in the car that afternoon and made the trip to Bend to meet our future...
Many have asked about our adoption story, so I thought I would break it into 2 parts. Here's (a long) Part 1 (pre-birth)...
October 5...Wait. Let me rewind to the weekend before:Saturday,September 29. It was the general RS broadcast and I had gone with my sister and mom. I had a rough previous week - having to do with adoption. Sometimes I have good weeks and sometimes I don't. I felt as though the RS broadcast was just for me. After the broadcast I was talking with our stake RS president (whom I adore). She has adopted before, so we have become close friends. She asked me how things were going and I said "not so great - rough week." She said, "That means something good is going to happen soon, right?" I sure hope so...
Fast forward to Friday, October 5. Nic calls me at work around 9:00. He tells me we have gotten our first e-mail from a birthmom: Kelbi. What?! Are you kidding me? I immediately start freaking out (at work). In this e-mail from Kelbi she tells us that she has been looking at our profile and has a few questions: further schooling, travel, mission, fish/hunt, baby gender, etc. We corresponded with Kelbi via e-mail a few times during the day. She just wanted to get to know us. By now we learned that she has a supportive boyfriend, Dylan. Kelbi lives north of Klamath Falls a few hours and is into sports and is on her high school equestrian team.
This weekend was also General Conference. I absolutely bawled through President Eyring's talk on the Sunday morning session. I felt as though his words were for me. He talked about his daughter who wasn't able to have children, so she decided to dedicate her life in service. Nic and I had previously taken on an additional calling as ward missionaries - this makes 2 callings for Nic and 3 for me. So imagine my surprise that when we accepted this calling, we started e-mailing with Kelbi.
After this day of e-mailing we didn't hear from her all week. Of course then I started analyzing our responses to her: did we say the right thing, should we have said this different or that. All that mattered was that we were open and honest. We assumed Kelbi was looking at other couples (mind you there are over 750 couples on LDSFS, but only about 15 from Oregon) and that she was also going through a lot. Patience was a hard thing to remember.
Saturday, October 13 brought Nic and I on a youth baptism temple trip. Before the session, the temple president came and spoke to the youth. I had a hard time focusing as my eyes were drawn to a painting of Christ when he came to the Americas. I had this overwhelming feeling of peace. I knew at that moment that truly God was in control and that no matter what happens with Kelbi will be for the best of the child and according to His will and plan. At that moment I could truly say and believe, "Thy will be done." A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and the Atonement was in effect.
Sunday, October 14Nic and I were watching TV. We both have our adoption e-mail account on our phones. When I get an e-mail my phone only vibrates - when Nic gets an e-mail his lets off some ringtone. As we were sitting watching TV our phones went off at the same time. Nic's ringtone was this crazy loud sound. We looked at each other and were like, "Wait. I'm pretty sure it's from our adoption account." We look at our phones and indeed it was an e-mail from Kelbi asking to meet us. Say wha'?! We arranged to meet with Kelbi and Dylan in Corvallis, where Dylan attends school, on Sunday, October 21. Imagine the immediate panic and nervousness that began to set in. My first thought was, "What am I going to wear?" How silly! Could this really be happening? Are we really going to be meeting with a birthmom? Yes, yes we are.
No matter what happens at this meeting, what a great experience we are having. I was at a girls trip the following days, so it was great to freak out with my sisters and mom. Thank goodness for family. At the girls trip I had these crazy dreams (surprising since I wasn't sleeping much) about our meeting with Kelbi. I had this absurd concern that she wasn't going to like me because my hair is too extreme. I know, crazy. My sister-in-law reminded me that if Kelbi doesn't choose us, it won't be because of my hair or that we said the wrong thing - it would be because this child wasn't meant to be in our family.
After church onSunday, October 21 we headed home after church to furiously change and get on the road and head to Corvallis. We really had no idea what to expect. I know we were both anxious to meet her and put a face with a name. We didn't know what questions she would ask. [People continually asked us "what happens next?" throughout this whole process. Honestly, we don't know. We are in correspondence with our case manager and we had forwarded her all of the e-mails we had with Kelbi. She reassured us that we had said great things and were asking appropriate questions to her.]
We met with with Kelbi, Dylan and her parents (Marney and Travis) at a stake center in Corvallis. Just to see what everyone looked like was exciting and I couldn't wait to sit down and talk - I was so nervous. Right when we got there we needed to use the restroom. Of course I texted my mom from the bathroom letting her know that we had just barely met everyone. haha I'm such a dork, I'll admit it.
What a great meeting we had getting to know everyone. We talked for a few hours. We learned that Kelbi was looking at a few other couples. What's interesting is that her mom looked at all of the profiles on LDSFS and picked us out. Kelbi later looked at all of the couples and picked us out (without her mom knowing). Kelbi told her mom that there was a couple she liked. Lo and behold, it was us! Crazy that they both had chosen us. What an amazing support system Kelbi has with her friends and family. We told Kelbi that she didn't need to make a decision here and now, but that we would wait. We're not going anywhere. Kelbi and Dylan went in to a separate room to talk. They came back and asked us to be the adoptive couple. What?! I wanted to scream and cry with joy. Luckily, I didn't cry. We were all smiles. This must be a dream. Kelbi is having a boy and she's due November 15. She plans to deliver in Bend at St. Charles Medical Center.
Dylan, Kelbi, me and Nic
We discussed names with Kelbi and Dylan. They knew which names we had picked out (Myron, Nolan and Kade). They both liked Nolan and Kade. Kelbi and Dylan also liked the name Jay (they combined their middle names). I couldn't believe it because Jay is a family name on my side of the family. How cool is that.
What a crazy night. We walked in to this meeting with a dream of hoping to adopt and walked out future parents all because of this amazing birthmom. Imagine that drive home...Many phone calls and text messages to family. I just kept telling myself that this was a dream. After waiting for over 3 years, this moment was finally here. We were going to be parents thanks to this beautiful girl we had just met. We were flooded with so many emotions.
Monday, October 22 I met my mom and sister at the fabric store and began picking out fabric for crib bedding. Let the planning begin! November 15 isn't very far away. Thankfully we already had the big furniture purchased, now it's just the little things we need. Our profile went live April 27 and here we are 6 months later...we're having a baby! Being in adoption it seemed like it was taking forever, but now that it was actually here, time flew!
Our announcement to the world (thank you Pinterest)
Come to find out, we had the same case manager as Kelbi. Nic and I were switched back to our original case manager, Joseph. We began corresponding with our case manager and Kelbi regarding the openness of the adoption. Nic and I decided that we want a good relationship with Kelbi. We will be open with this little guy about adoption - we want him to know where he came from and how many people love him. It's amazing how many lives are affected because of this little boy. He has touched so many lives already.