Sunday, June 5, 2011

JuSt ThE sAmE

Infertility. I don't like this word. I never have and never will. What does this word make you think of? Sadness. Anger. Sorrow. Fear. Dread. Disappointment. Inadequacy. Failure. I don't like to say that this word is now a permanent part of the Phair Family (us), but it is. A lot of people don't really know how to react to people with infertility issues. Family. Friends. Co-workers. How do you respond to this? I wouldn't know. What I do know is what infertility feels like. (It's not fun)

Is there any good that comes from infertility? My answer: Heck of the Yes! You gain a stronger bond with your husband. Love for your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ grows stronger. Faith grows. Testimony grows. You learn about the Atonement and how to truly rely on it. You learn how to truly talk with Heavenly Father through prayer. There is joy through all of these lessons learned. You learn of a lot of other people who know what's it like. (It's a lot more common then you think) The word infertility is an ugly one, but what you gain because of it is beautiful. If you know of a loved one or a friend or co-worker that is struggling with infertility, read this article. This is the best article that I have read that "hits the nail on the head." This is what infertility feels like.

I'm happy to say that we have not let infertility take over our lives or our marriage like I know it can. It can destroy marriages, but it has made us stronger. It can hurt your testimony, but it has strengthened ours. It can burden your families and friends, but you have a stronger relationship with them because of it. You learn that an eternal family's love can not end, but only get stronger. So thank you infertility for your lessons. I never thought infertility would be part of my life nor that I would ever be thanking it, but I am. Go read that article. It gives you a better understanding. I would also hope that you read this poem. Beautiful.


suzanne said...

You are such a strong young woman! I"m so proud of you.

Aaron & Carrie Warnick said...

You are such a strong and great example to me Ali. I just wanted you to know this post made me cry because it hit home right on the dot. I have felt so stagnant with infertility and I hate the word as well! I never thought I would have so many friends in my life who would share in my same struggles with starting a family. Aaron and I are not ready to move forward with Adoption but I admire your strength and hard work to adopt. I wish We were both at that point but Aaron is not. As we work together I know that things will fall in place the way they are meant to be. This article you found inspired me so much. I am so grateful for it and now that I have read it I feel there is hope and I hope to be where you are in your Faith someday. You are a true inspiration. Thanks so much.